Earlier this year, my husband and I welcomed our first baby boy into this world. There was so much joy as we had anticipated his arrival for ten months.
However, we also quickly realised that it is not just the cuteness of the baby, but our worlds had been turned upside down because the little one requires a lot of care, affection, and feeding.
Everyday is the same yet different routine. I can spend hours feeding or asking my mum or husband to change baby’s diapers because I was too tired to do it. I struggled to find time to rest because every time I closed my eyes, baby seemed to time his cry then too.
Some of you might have seen the cute photos I posted of baby, but there were also half the times he was crying his lungs out because he was hungry, bored or wanted cuddles.
I often questioned myself, “Did I sign up for this? When was the last time I had a good night sleep?” I just expected baby to be cute all the way and I didn’t need to deal with any crying. Yeah right.
As I find my way through motherhood, I have also identified 3 key areas that would help me become a better person.
Prior to being a mum, I had never felt busy, but neither was I satisfied with my lifestyle as I spent a lot of time watching dramas, playing phone games and doing things that do not add value to my life.
Now with baby, I have to be more strategic with the use of my time. As a mum, I am constantly fighting against time. I have to arrange my tasks around baby’s nap times. As I am writing this article, baby is having his nap.
Everyone has 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week, no more, no less. There is not one person having less time than the other, what we need is to pivot.
For my personal example, currently baby takes 3 naps a day. The first nap I use it to have my breakfast and do some reading, second nap I have my lunch and prepare dinner that night and the third nap I fit in some exercise, chores or rest depending on how I feel like on that day.
When he goes for his long stretch of sleep at night, that is when I might spend some time watching some dramas or more reading to relax. Besides the day to day tasks, I have also put in more effort to catch up with my friends to maintain relationships.
As some might have commented about their friends disappearing after having a baby, I am determined not to be like that because I really treasure my friends. I bring baby to my catch ups with people, and now that it has become a habit, it is not as daunting to bring a newborn out and I noticed I have reconnected with more friends than ever.
I honestly believe now that it is all about time management and priorities. I know I am busy as a mum, but I can pivot so I can live a fulfilling life. Having a baby will not stop me from continuing to impact other people’s lives.
As mentioned above, baby takes up a lot of my time and rest. I admit that there were many times I grumbled about being tired and wondered why I gave birth to a baby who demanded so much of my time. There were also times I argued with my husband because we were both tired and adjusting to the drastic change in our lives.
This new life forced me to grow and seek help to become better.
When I think I failed as a mum, I reach out to my mentor for help. When I feel that I am not spending my time wisely, I pray for God’s grace. When I argued with my husband, I reflected on what went wrong and we sought to resolve the issues.
As I spend time with my baby, he has taught me what love, patience and selflessness are. He has also built my tolerance to be more gracious towards others as I make my own mistakes.
What I do not know, I seek to learn. Throughout these three months, I have also learnt more about my strengths and flaws than I did before.
Count my blessings
Prior to my baby’s arrival, I took many things for granted, particularly the luxury of time. I could sleep when I want, I could catch up with friends whenever I want and I could watch a movie with my husband anytime.
With baby, none of these comes easy. I have not slept much in the past three months, neither have I watched the latest movies in the cinemas. However, I have taken pride in looking after a life who will in turn impact others when he grows up.
I count my blessings everyday when I can have a peaceful meal, a nice conversation with someone or some quiet time reading.
This new change in my life has taught me that even though I may not have it altogether, I can be grateful for who I am and what I have. While I ask God to bless me abundantly according to His riches, I have learnt that what I have, I give so I can receive.
Amy Ching enjoys fellowship with people and seeing their lives changed because of Jesus. Her passion is to influence others and speak into their lives. She loves spending time with family and friends and would love a good meal on top of the fellowship. She enjoys travelling and would love to travel all the time if she can. If you want to know more about her, check out her instagram account @chingamy, where she posts about life, her revelations, and hopes to inspire.