Kerryn Polkington says 14 years ago, just days before Mother's Day, she had a miscarriage at 10.5 weeks. 10 years ago, again just before Mother's Day, she had another miscarriage at 6 weeks.
Unbelievable tragedy that no words could express. Her life was turned upside down in an instant. Within 12 hours, she started to miscarry, went to the Doctor, had an Ultrasound, went to the Hospital for a D&C, & was back home again that night ....& then she started to grieve.
These are Kerryn's own words
I realised the emotions I was feeling varied so greatly from day to day, so I wrote them down. I thought, this is so horrible what I'm feeling, I know I'll feel better one day, but if I have a friend go through this & look to me for help & support, I don't want to waste this opportunity & forget how it felt.
After a few years of processing this, I eventually wrote a book about it titled "Empty". It wasn't just my story, but more how I connected with God through that time & how He carried me. That's the message I want people to hear when they read it.
Little did I know, when I thought one day I might have one friend go through this, I never could have imagined what God had in store. I've now sold the book in 7 countries....and many of the readers are non Christians, which I find so exciting, because they never would have normally bought a 'God book'.
I can honestly look back on this journey & feel so privileged. Here is a group of people who I'm now qualified to help. Before this, I never would have known what to do or say. God doesn't cause tragedy. Sin causes tragedy, which entered the world in the Garden of Eden. But we can choose how we respond to tragedies and challenges in our life.
Makes coping with it so much easier
2 Corinthians chapter 1 verses 3-4
Praise be to the God & Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion & the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
We need to allow ourselves to firstly receive comfort from God, before we can comfort others with that same God given comfort.
My hope is that 'Empty' will encourage people to talk more openly about miscarriage & that it will also be a resource for friends & family wanting to know how to help those who are processing grief.
Some feedback from readers....
- Finally someone who understands!!! I felt that Empty is the perfect blend of empathy and encouragement. It really encouraged me to deal with my reality and yet look forward with hope. After 6 years of waiting to have a child I am really over clichés and advice and find it does more damage than good, even though the people mean well! Empty allowed me to grieve and feel ok and normal at this devastating time. At times I had to put it away and come back to it as my emotions were overwhelming. Empty, in its simplicity is profound and brings great healing. Thanks Kerryn for your honesty and obedience.
- People like yourself make it easier to continue with life, even if some days are really dark.
- When my husband & I first decided to try for a baby we never imagined the possibility of having a miscarriage. It was a complete shock when at 12 weeks I was told there was no heartbeat. I had never felt such grief and cried many tears over the lost life of our much wanted baby. I believe your book "Empty" is a valuable testimony of a woman who has travelled this journey and who understands that the healing process for each person is unique. The scriptures were healing & it is comforting to be reminded of the truth that we will meet our little one in heaven. I applaud you for putting a voice to what is often an unspoken topic and helping in the healing of those hearts which have experienced this loss.
- Your beautiful books will be in all the TLC Pregnancy and Infant Loss Australia's grief and loss libraries. We now have grief and loss libraries in NSW, SA, TAS, VIC, QLD and soon to be in WA. The books are incorporated in the Bereavement Support Meetings and are a vital bereavement support resource.
- I have hated the pain we have been through in the past year, and would have done everything in my power to stop it happening, but somewhere inside of my heart, God is quietly saying "I will use you to help someone else", just as I have been helped by other people like you.
$15 incl postage (Aust/NZ)
$20 incl postage (Intl)
Kerryn Pocklington has had the opportunity to speak at a 'baby loss' event recently in Sydney, helping to break the silence around the taboo subject of baby loss. Also, in 2013, Kerryn was very humbled to win the Author/Blogger award at the Butterfly Awards in the UK.
Dr Mark Tronson is a Baptist minister (retired) who served as the Australian cricket team chaplain for 17 years (2000 ret) and established Life After Cricket in 2001. He was recognised by the Olympic Ministry Medal in 2009 presented by Carl Lewis Olympian of the Century. He mentors young writers and has written 24 books, and enjoys writing. He is married to Delma, with four adult children and grand-children. Dr Tronson writes a daily article for Christian Today Australia (since 2008) and in November 2016 established Christian Today New Zealand.
Mark Tronson's archive of articles can be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/mark-tronson.html